Let’s Talk Dirty…

“You cannot talk dirt, without getting mucky…”

Most of us have done it at some point or another… sometimes in front of a mirror, in private with the person we love or trust, maybe in the company of a close circle of friends, some of us have even done it on Facebook or Twitter. You know how it is, you get that urge and you just can’t help yourself; you feeling utterly compelled to get it out into the open, to talk dirty.

Talking dirt, wishing others ill, expressing how hurt (or angry) we are at the actions of others, being derogatory about this person or that celebrity, in fact everything little snippet or tidbit that we say out loud; we have been taught that it is okay to just say what we feel motivated to say in the moment and even to write about it publicly. It’s called, simply ‘having a rant’.

Now, this is not a criticism; some very tough things need to be said from time to time. The challenge is that, whenever you say something about other people, you do not actually say anything about the other person… you are only ever saying something about yourself. We have all been hurt by others, sometimes in absolutely horrible ways; we have experienced bullying, abuse, and injustice. We all need to speak out about these things and strive each day to stop them from happening to others, for this is part of our legacy, our heritage for those who are yet to come.

However, when we turn the pain and anger will feel into a call for revenge, when we say mean (albeit justifiable) things about those who have caused hurt, when we poke fun at others or make sweeping judgments, because of the way they look, their perspective, or who they fall in love with, we announce to the world who we are (or at the very least, how we are behaving, which is mostly interpreted for who we are!). When we talk dirt, we get mucky, because to dish the dirt, you have to be in it on some level.

When we invest time in healing ourselves, in going through the pain and trauma to deep sense of inner wisdom, we realise that we are truly all equal. Nobody has an instruction manual, or the magical right and wrong, for we are all merely experiencing life from our own perspective. If we want to define other people for who they truly are, then we are all born pure and innocent… the other stuff comes later, through learning.

As you confront the aspects of your innate purity and innocent that have been plastered over with learned behaviours, you realise that everyone who has caused you pain is just doing what they have been told to do. If you can stare into this knowledge with an unwavering gaze, you will also appreciate how the path to breaking free of these behaviours starts with ourselves, with you and me. We cannot expect others to change simply because we tell them to; they need to see the change within you before they will eventually be encouraged to look within themselves. And if that internal ‘plastering’ of habitual behaviour is layered too thick to get through, then we either accept that about them, or move on.

Expressing fear, anger, hatred, revenge, jealousy, pain, and so on is something that we all do; projecting it onto others and removing our own accountability may feel good, but it controls us, limits us, and keeps us swimming in the emotion a little while longer. Healing fear, anger, hatred, revenge, jealousy, pain, and so on, empowers us to move forward; we take back the responsibility for our own actions (and reactions) and step away from the dirt. If other people choose to remain mucky, it is their choice.

In many regions of the world we have the right and privilege of freedom of speech. This means we have infinite choice to say what we want. In all that potential, when somebody makes the decision to bad-mouth another person or their legacy, it is drowned out the cacophony of other people doing the same. When a person chooses to speak of kindness, compassion, and love, we all take note.

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